The other day I was talking to Je about Valentine’s Day and in our conversation, this thought struck me the most.  Just a disclaimer, I am not bitter about anything nor is this stemming from a past experience. This is purely objective. So in the spirit of Feb 14:


Noun. 1. checklist– a list of items (names or tasks etc.) to be checked or consulted.

2. checklist- a comprehensive list of important or relevant actions, or steps to be taken in a specific order.

(thanks to here and here for the definitions)

We all make our own checklists, not only for the things we do daily but also in the things that we look for.  Like our dream house or where we work, or even the people we want to be in relationships with. Yes, the dreaded checklist. And how do we know which one to pick? Well, once we’ve checked out everything on the list, of course!

Isn’t this a bunch of bullshit?

Let’s have an example:

What I want in a girl:

[ ] Has a creative hobby

[ ] Fairly smart

[ ] Geek-y

[ ] Witty and funny

[ ] Willing to argue with me

[ ] Speaks well, whether in English or Filipino

[ ] Bonus: has an accent

[ ] Bonus: lives in the south

[ ] Bonus: speaks a European language

Wow, so out of all the girls I’ve met, there have been, probably, less than 10 people that get a 100 from there. And if all I’ll be doing is sticking to this list, then how can I find the perfect person I want to be with?

Think about it. How many prospects have you crossed out just because they didn’t meet your list? Just because they fell short of being a 5’7 Fil-Chinese model-slash-painter or a 6’1 academically-excellent, basketball player? Come on, boys and girls, admit it.

Shouldn’t one get to know the person first finding time to check or cross-out qualities? Sure, I may meet a Brazilian debater-author who used to be a stand-up comedian. But she could be racist. Or hateful. Or be a druggie. Total flop. Look at it this way. Instead of turning people down once they don’t meet the checklist, why not give them a chance? I mean, how would I know that girls that are passive aren’t my type if I never give them a chance? Wouldn’t it be better  that during your wedding, you tell this story:

She was really far from what I wanted in a relationship. She’s sloppy, and clumsy. She’s way taller than I am. She doesn’t know how to swim, and she can’t drive, for the life of her.  She always forgets things. She’s addicted to reality TV shows and to bags. She loves cats. But I don’t care. Coz if she wasn’t clumsy, maybe we never would have met. If she wasn’t addicted to reality shows, then I wouldn’t know what to get her for her birthday. If she was shorter than me, then I wouldn’t have as much fun reaching for her lips when we kiss. Sure, she was far from what I was looking for in a girl. But what you want isn’t necessarily what you’ll need. It wasn’t the case for me.

See? So screw the checklists. (and your lovers *wink* )

Happy Valentine’s Day everybody! (and Chinese New Year too!)

15 responses to “Checklists

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